Clifford told me today that he wanted to go for a walk, so I said I’d walk with him so he wouldn’t get lost. As an 87-year-old man with dementia who has lived with us since April, he has never once found his way home on his own power. I told him I had to change clothes and do a few things first, and in the meantime he escaped out the door without me and I couldn’t figure out where he was. Naturally it was 18° F. Naturally he was only wearing a light flannel shirt. Naturally it took me a long time to find him, and his skin was all red.

Today I have to go to traffic court–I’m making Halley watch Clifford. Boring, but I’ll report back on how it is.

Tomorrow and Saturday I am going to SkepticCamp Atlanta. I’ll try to blog about that as well.

I have been extremely stressed lately. Clifford, the 87-year-old uncle of my husband whom I’ve been staying home watching since last April, has gotten worse. He’s much more confused, weaker, and sleeps much more than he was. When he’s awake he asks the same questions over-and-over and tells me the most random anecdotes. I worry that he is turning a corner in his dementia and while I used to think he had maybe 10 more years, I’d now be surprised if he lives another 3-4.

My oldest daughter moved home before Christmas and hasn’t yet found a job (though she had an interview at a veterinarian’s), nor is she yet studying for grad school which she’ll need money to pay for. She’s got a B.S. in Ecology and would be a good lab tech, but there aren’t a lot of positions out there right now. She’s mostly playing video games.

Her ex-boyfriend/best friend (our honorary son) has lost his job and therefore his apartment and tried to join the Navy and they won’t take him until January of next year, so he is moving home to Detroit where he has family, but in the meantime until he can get the funds to move up there he is staying here as well, also playing video games. He’s moved all his worldly possessions here for us to store for him.

My husband is the executor for his mother’s estates, which entails going to Augusta fairly regularly to take care of things. What could not be sold or distributed amongst other family members is now in our house.

Our house is very small. It’s a tiny 1950s ranch house with 1.5 baths and a basement. With the six people and four cats, we’re all on top of each other.

Every day I am making my bed, because it is the only place in the house that is tidy and ordered. I am extremely stressed and feel angry almost all the time. I’ve gained ten pounds and am yelling at my poor husband a lot. I’m trying very hard to eat healthy lowfat vegan foods and exercise whenever I can get a break from Clifford, but it isn’t always working out.

And now I find that my podcast feed isn’t working on iTunes, and I can’t figure out why. Not that I’ve been podcasting lately. It’s so hard when I can’t get time to compose my thoughts and record.

On today’s show I talk about my day-to-day life living with Dwight’s Uncle Clifford, who suffers from dementia. I’m here to tell you, it ain’t easy, folks. Not only does Clifford repeat himself until I am going mad, he wanders, gets lost, has no sense of time and place, no concept of appropriate behavior, and is unreliable. This is kind of a depressing show, I realized as I was editing this down. If you’re out for laughs, you may want to skip.

Flyswatter Show

Liberal. Atheist. Vegan. Different.

I was out walking this morning and on my way home I saw a thin, older man with shiny black shoes and a red gimme hat walking the opposite direction. I drew closer and was relieved to see that he was not Clifford. I normally hide Clifford’s shoes because he sometimes escapes when I’m not looking and gets so lost I can’t find him and the police have to be called. They warned me the last time that if he gets lost again, they will call family services on me!

I was afraid he found my stash of his footwear.

This is very hard.

Clifford just came into the bedroom and said he is leaving to go out west. I’d like to see him try.

He has no money and no way to get anywhere. If he expects us to buy him a bus ticket, he’s got another think coming.

I am going to try to get Clifford to start taking more vitamin D, calcium, garlic, and flax seed. It should help him with the issues he’s having–hypertension, dementia, arthritis, and the fact that he fell off his bed and bruised his ribs because he keeps his mattress shoved down from the headboard on the box springs so he can store his dirty underwear and nasty handkerchiefs up near his head, and he forgot and sat down on the unsupported mattress and tumbled to the floor. He absolutely refuses to go to a doctor as he’s a Christian Scientist and I can’t find one for him anyway as he only has Medicaid.

Last spring my mother-in-law passed away suddenly. She had been caring for her 86-year-old brother Clifford, who is suffering from severe memory loss. He ended up moving in with us (part of the reason I took a long hiatus from podcasting) and because he is a wander risk, I had to leave my job to stay home with him fulltime. But he’s a friendly and funny old guy and most of the time I don’t mind. Here is an extremely edited version of our walk around the block, which actually took 45 minutes. Walking with Clifford is not an aerobic exercise, by any means!

Flyswatter Show

Liberal. Atheist. Vegan. Different.